What do you call a smart blonde?
A golden retriever.

What did the blonde say when she found out she was pregnant?
“Are you sure it’s mine?”

What’s the difference between a girlfriend and wife?
10 years and 45 lbs.

What’s the difference between a boyfriend and husband?
45 minutes

Why is it so hard for women to find men that are sensitive, caring, and good-looking?
Because those men already have boyfriends.

What’s the difference between a new husband and a new dog?
After a year, the dog is still excited to see you

1) What’s the Cuban National Anthem?

Row, Row, Row Your Boat

2) Where does an Irish family go on vacation?

A different bar

3) What did the Chinese couple name their retarded baby?

Sum Ting Wong

4) What do you call it when an Italian has one arm shorter than the other?

A speech impediment

5) What does it mean when the Post Office’s flag is flying at half-mast?

They’re hiring

6) In Greece, how do they separate the men from the boys?

With a crowbar.

7) Why aren’t there any Puerto Ricans on Star Trek?

Because they’re not going to workin the future either.

8 ) What do you call a Mississippi farmer with a sheep under each arm?

A pimp.

9) Why do Driver Education classes in redneck schools use the car only on Mondays, Wednesdays and Fridays?

Because on Tuesday! and Thursday,the Sex Ed class uses it.

10) What’s the difference between a southern zoo and a northern zoo?

The southern zoo has a descriptionof the animal on the front of the cage along with a recipe.

11) How do you get a sweet little 80-year-old lady to say the ‘F’ word?

Get another sweet little 80-year-old lady to yell ‘BINGO!’

12) What’s the difference between a northern fairytale and a southern fairytale???

A northern fairytale begins, ‘Once upon a time…’ A southern fairytale begins, ‘Y’all ain’t gonna believe this s**t’!

13) Why doesn’t Mexico have an Olympic team?

Because all the Mexicans who can run, jump or swim are already in the United States.