10. You refine heroin for a living, but you have a moral objection to
beer.

9. You own a $300 machine gun and a $5,000 rocket launcher, but you
can’t afford shoes.

8. You have more wives than teeth.

7. You think vests come in two styles: bullet-proof and suicide.

6. You can’t think of anyone you HAVEN’T declared Jihad against.

5. You consider television dangerous, but routinely carry explosives in
your robe.

4. You’ve never been asked, ‘Does this Burka make my butt look fat?’

3. You were amazed to discover that cell phones have uses other than
setting off roadside bombs.

2. You’ve never uttered the phrase, ‘I love what you’ve done with your
cave.’

And, the NUMBER ONE SIGN you might be a member of the Taliban or
Al-Qaeda…

1. You wipe your butt with your bare hand, but consider bacon unclean

Do you speak english ?
-Yes!
-Name?
-Abdul al-Rhazib.
-Sex?
-Three to five times a week.
-No, no…I mean male or female?
-Yes, male, female, sometimes camel.
-Holy cow!
-Yes, cow, sheep, animals in general.
-But isn’t that hostile?
-Horse style, doggy style, any style!
-Oh dear!
-No, no! Deer run too fast…

What do you call a smart blonde?
A golden retriever.

What did the blonde say when she found out she was pregnant?
“Are you sure it’s mine?”

What’s the difference between a girlfriend and wife?
10 years and 45 lbs.

What’s the difference between a boyfriend and husband?
45 minutes

Why is it so hard for women to find men that are sensitive, caring, and good-looking?
Because those men already have boyfriends.

What’s the difference between a new husband and a new dog?
After a year, the dog is still excited to see you

1) What’s the Cuban National Anthem?

Row, Row, Row Your Boat

2) Where does an Irish family go on vacation?

A different bar

3) What did the Chinese couple name their retarded baby?

Sum Ting Wong

4) What do you call it when an Italian has one arm shorter than the other?

A speech impediment

5) What does it mean when the Post Office’s flag is flying at half-mast?

They’re hiring

6) In Greece, how do they separate the men from the boys?

With a crowbar.

7) Why aren’t there any Puerto Ricans on Star Trek?

Because they’re not going to workin the future either.

8 ) What do you call a Mississippi farmer with a sheep under each arm?

A pimp.

9) Why do Driver Education classes in redneck schools use the car only on Mondays, Wednesdays and Fridays?

Because on Tuesday! and Thursday,the Sex Ed class uses it.

10) What’s the difference between a southern zoo and a northern zoo?

The southern zoo has a descriptionof the animal on the front of the cage along with a recipe.

11) How do you get a sweet little 80-year-old lady to say the ‘F’ word?

Get another sweet little 80-year-old lady to yell ‘BINGO!’

12) What’s the difference between a northern fairytale and a southern fairytale???

A northern fairytale begins, ‘Once upon a time…’ A southern fairytale begins, ‘Y’all ain’t gonna believe this s**t’!

13) Why doesn’t Mexico have an Olympic team?

Because all the Mexicans who can run, jump or swim are already in the United States.